Having a very strong sense of rectitude can kill you, as I learned today.

(Note: Recent blog postings are delayed for quite a bit, as I was away from modern civilization, including internet)

 
June 2

Today, a somewhat childhood friend (in a strictly loose meaning of the word) out of the blue invited me to her sister’s wedding ceremony somewhere close to home - at the back of my house. Nothing terribly out of the ordinary I know; except, she had never invited me to anything as big as this before (I have not seen her parents in ages I think. And now when I think about it, I really don’t know why). Oh, and not to mention the unremitting energy of my Kelate cousins to remind me that I am invited to her place for the last few days. It’s just another wedding. Or so I thought.

Oh, and before I forget, for some weird reason I brought two baju melayu when I planned to go to one.

If, I expected love, when first we kissed, blame it on my youth
If only just for you, I did exist, blame it on my youth
I believed in everything
Like a child of three
You meant more than anything
You meant all the world to me

(Jamie Cullum, Blame It On My Youth)

So I went. Since it’s a wedding, me being a good sport quickly went back, shower and don the other baju melayu, et al. Unsurprisingly, they were flabbergasted of course, my cousins and tok.

“Hooooo… pakai smart gitumo…” Roughly translated as “You’re such a dashing, handsome young man with a bright future” yada yada

Surprisingly, they were flabbergasted-ly happy.

“… mace tok saba2 doh nok gi jupo mertuo deh?” Generally interpreted as, “can’t wait to see the in-laws, eh? Don’t worry! You’re such a dashing, handsome young man with a bright future, they’re gonna love ya mate!”

Okay, something’s definitely up. See me and this “friend” has had a few, brief, moments together, but nothing entering anything serious. We’re neighbor, childhood friends, family friends, and me being me is always being associated with someone. So when everybody grows up, and being close and all, at times things do get a little… zesty. But nothing every really happened at the end, and everything resets come the next Eid.

Anyways. So even if it’s just a walk away, I still need to be proper, right?

Oh, I forgot. Nobody ever dresses up in Kelate-land. So everybody was staring at me, some Hang Tuah from KL trying to take the crown from the pengantin lelaki. Much to my surprise, the parents didn’t mind at all. In fact, they actually welcomed me with open arms somemore, aiyo! Me, again, being a good sport, mingle around like I belong flawlessly. So for them, the intention from me was clear. But that’s not the best part.

Best part is, it was all still oblivious to me.

Suddenly she seemed ultra happy after I’ve spoken to her parents and brothers. Then it hit me, when the topic about marriage pops in from the father. Ugh.

“Bilo lagi ni?” (So when is your turn?)

“Aih, lambat lagi ah!” (Still a long way to go)

“Kahwin la denge ore KB. Sene sikit nok gi. Jauh tu kalu keno gi KL.” (Find a Kota Bahru chick. Easier to go to your wedding later)

“Hmm.”

(I erased this dialog from my mind because it freaked me out, but it’s something along the lines of she being a perfect candidate for me)

“Tok pikir pung lagi. Kijo banyok lagi nih.” (Haven’t really thought of it yet OMG OMG OMG NOW I GET IT)

To cut it short, when I went back home later in the evening, Tok ako pulak tanya.

“Gi doh rumoh dio? Jupo doh ko mok pok dio?” (Went to her place yet? Seen her parents?)

“Iyo. Bakponyo? (Yeah, why?)

“Tanyo jah. Mano dio? Tadik tubik denge dio kan?” (Just asking. Didn’t you just went out with her?)

“Mano tau! Tanyo dio ah!” (Ask her yourself! How’d I know where she was?) -> I lied.

On the upside, I pride myself knowing that deep down in my heart I don’t overanalyse and judge people’s intentions and actions. Eh, scratch that. I was just so damn blur, that’s all. Oh crap. I need to go back!

Addendum: It has come to realization that this particular girl is a bit of a gold digger herself, so please make up your own mind. I did.

Manusia mati meninggalkan nama. Kadang2 lebih dari satu pula. Often times we read tales of peoples of the yesteryear adopting a different name in tandem with them adopting a clan, or a family. Memang biasa untuk re-label sesorang manusia kepada label yang lain apabila dia memasuki sesuatu kelompok manusia. Justeru, it’s quite common to see people having multiple names given to them in their past lives (not literally, of course). Names are, one of the highest forms of acknowledgement and pride given to a person to show acceptance to a select group of people. Blood relation is seen as unimportant, and it is, as it’s always blue.

Ako sendiri amat bertuah kerana berpeluang untuk merasakan adat yang cukup istimewa ini, to a certain extent.  Ako dikenali dengan pelbagai nama oleh kelompok2 di pelbagai tempat. Mungkin kerana sifatku yang mudah mesra menyebabkan mudah untukku diterima oleh pelbagai pelusuk famili2 dan kelompok2 kenalan kot?

“Siapa dia?”
“Pakcik ako.”
“Pakcik? Belah mana? Ayah? Mak?”
“Belah ako.”
“La, bukan pakcik ko yang betul la tu.”
“Memang pakcik betul ako.”

Blood is unimportant to me. Tough concept to grasp, I suppose. But it shouldn’t be! Although I have to admit, the different ideologies and philosophies in me has led me into loads of avoidable poppycock. One of which has led me to my hometown, to detach myself of a family and thus, a name.

As I write here in the tranquil sounds of Tok Bali, on a red plastic chair in the middle of the seashore (really, one of the best blogging experiences anybody could have), I am days away from ending it. I can’t say that I’m going to be in high spirits doing this, but I sincerely believe it’s a long time coming.

 It’s a long time, long time coming
You tell me how you think I should be, it’s not easy
You tell me what people want of me
Well ill just be myself, well it’s the only way that I can be
You will see!

(Anthrax, Gridlock)

“My wife absolutely loves them, the seeds…” he said. Apparently the Samoans go nuts over kuacis, pretty much like our atuks and moviegoers in the 80s. That’s what Jake told me, who’s a kiwi happily married to a kuaci-addict Samoan.

“Oh, I love those terrible rugby players mate,” I quipped. “We see them all the time in our Rugby Sevens you know.”

And so a friendship is born, for a few days. Over sunflower seeds. Tatkala menulis rentetan hidup ini, I realized that many, many of us tend to bring issues of our lives into our interactions with our surroundings. Sayang, sayang.

Tell me all your hopes and fears
And everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world?
I’d love for you to take me into a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

Ill let my guard down for you
And in time you will, too

(Yuna, Deeper Conversation)

Ako seringkali kaget dan pelik, kenapa manusia terlalu cepat untuk mentafsir apa sahaja yang berlaku di sekitar . Why is it that people forget that people, you and me, are inherently good, and in need of interaction with each other?

“Dari mula lagi ako tengok dia tu, ako dah tak suka la. Dia tu macam perasan bagus je. Poyo lah mamat tu!”

Maybe the idealistic, philosophical nature of me can’t accept that kind of thinking. Or maybe because it doesn’t affect me, so I just couldn’t care less? This should be the way, I reckon. Unfortunately this is not shared by a lot of people, which is sad.

“Thanks a bunch for being a good host mate. Drop by Christchurch sometime, we’d love to have ya around!”

I know I’d love Christchurch, whenever I’ve the chance to be there! Shouldn’t life be this easy for you too?